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In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More? Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: August 09, 2007 Our panelists discuss whether taunting and insults would be an effective strategy to help America's obese children lose weight.

Human Head Found In Hamburger Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: August 06, 2007 An Albany, New York man was surprised to find a human head in his Double Whopper at a local Burger King.

Live From Congress: Rep. Hardy Calls For A Ladies' Night Out Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: August 02, 2007 Rep. Juliana Hardy's resolution would provide a well-deserved night on the town for her and best friend Rep. Lisa Jean Conroy.

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast' Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 30, 2007 On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles.

In The Know: Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa’s Feelings? Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 26, 2007 Panelists discuss whether we should spare Africa's feelings by not telling them about the global economy.

Time Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 25, 2007

In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales? Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 19, 2007 Panelists discuss a new report that found only 84% of education funding goes to teaching children about whales.

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 16, 2007 Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study.

U.S. Department Of Lost And Found: We Found Your Flip Flop Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 12, 2007 If you've lost something, the U.S. Dept. of Lost and Found can help you find it. This week's featured items: a flip flop and a b...

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 09, 2007 Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

Live From Congress: Rep. Ingersoll's Murder of a Hobo Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 05, 2007 Congressman Robert Ingersol (R-SC) reads detailed report in the House of Representatives on his recent killing of a hobo.

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: July 02, 2007 Due to rising domestic wages, many American parents are saving money by using unregulated overseas workers.

U.S. Department of Lost and Found: Umbrellas and Sweaters Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 28, 2007 Have you lost something? The U.S. Department of Lost and Found helps Americans find their misplaced possessions.

Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk' Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 26, 2007 The Department of Transportation reports gridlock can be eliminated by simply honking your car's horn.

In The Know: Kim Jong-Il's Approval Rating Plummets to 120% Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 21, 2007 Panelists discuss the political repercussions of a new poll showing Kim Jong-Il's approval rating at an all time low of 120%.

Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 19, 2007 In violation of non-proliferation agreements, the little nation has developed an itsy bitsy arsenal of destruction.

Study: Alzheimer’s Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer’s Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 11, 2007 Interviews with Alzheimer’s patients indicated that an overwhelming majority are, in fact, perfectly fine.

In The Know: America Braces For New Wayans Brothers Movie Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 07, 2007 One year after Little Man, panelists discuss whether America can handle another movie from the Wayans Brothers.

J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: June 05, 2007 Calling the final Harry Potter book her "darkest yet," J.K. Rowling confirmed one of the characters in it will be date raped.

Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays Channel: The Onion Length: 0 Date: May 28, 2007 With the reconstruction of Ground Zero finally underway, anchor Brandon Armstrong invites two guests to discuss the progress.

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