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Cash-Strapped PBS Releases Nova Special On Physics Behind Rhythmically Bouncing Breasts Channel: The Onion Length: 97 Date: May 21, 2011 A load of mulch is dumped in a pretty ballsy location, a racehorse is unaware it just cost some kid new braces, and desperate PBS airs ‘Nova: Boob...

Cash-Strapped PBS Releases Nova Special On Physics Behind Rhythmically Bouncing Breasts Channel: The Onion Length: 97 Date: May 21, 2011 A load of mulch is dumped in a pretty ballsy location, a racehorse is unaware it just cost some kid new braces, and desperate PBS airs ‘Nova: Boob...

America’s Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You? Channel: The Onion Length: 154 Date: May 19, 2011 The Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team reports on whether the nation’s waitresses are just being friendly.

America’s Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You? Channel: The Onion Length: 154 Date: May 19, 2011 The Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team reports on whether the nation’s waitresses are just being friendly.

Missing Teen’s Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates Channel: The Onion Length: 182 Date: May 17, 2011 Two teens visit Today Now! in the hopes of finding their kidnapped friend and letting her know that their classmate is totally knocked up.

Missing Teen’s Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates Channel: The Onion Length: 182 Date: May 17, 2011 Two teens visit Today Now! in the hopes of finding their kidnapped friend and letting her know that their classmate is totally knocked up.

Update: Obama Yet Again Refrains From Obliterating Human Race Channel: The Onion Length: 118 Date: May 13, 2011 A budget mix up causes Congress to accidentally fund schools …NFL Players look weird in suits, and a revealing discovery about the life of Gentle ...

Update: Obama Yet Again Refrains From Obliterating Human Race Channel: The Onion Length: 118 Date: May 13, 2011 A budget mix up causes Congress to accidentally fund schools …NFL Players look weird in suits, and a revealing discovery about the life of Gentle ...

Live: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams Channel: The Onion Length: 102 Date: May 12, 2011 "Sex With A B-List Celebrity" is just one of several proposals being proposed as the dead American Dream’s replacement.

Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart Channel: The Onion Length: 157 Date: May 10, 2011 A gunman at a Dearborn, MI Walmart is holding dozens of shoppers who say they only happened to be at the tacky megachain by coincidence.

Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart Channel: The Onion Length: 157 Date: May 10, 2011 A gunman at a Dearborn, MI Walmart is holding dozens of shoppers who say they only happened to be at the tacky megachain by coincidence.

Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart Channel: The Onion Length: 157 Date: May 10, 2011 A gunman at a Dearborn, MI Walmart is holding dozens of shoppers who say they only happened to be at the tacky megachain by coincidence.

Other Guy Named Osama Bin Laden Can Finally Relax Channel: The Onion Length: 113 Date: May 07, 2011 The death of another human being is terrific news for once … the bullet that killed the notorious terrorist is a guest on Good Morning America, an...

Other Guy Named Osama Bin Laden Can Finally Relax Channel: The Onion Length: 113 Date: May 07, 2011 The death of another human being is terrific news for once … the bullet that killed the notorious terrorist is a guest on Good Morning America, an...

Other Guy Named Osama Bin Laden Can Finally Relax Channel: The Onion Length: 113 Date: May 07, 2011 The death of another human being is terrific news for once … the bullet that killed the notorious terrorist is a guest on Good Morning America, an...

Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand Channel: The Onion Length: 64 Date: May 05, 2011 FactZone obtains an audio recording of military prosecutors cross-examining the disturbingly emotionless drone.

Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand Channel: The Onion Length: 64 Date: May 05, 2011 FactZone obtains an audio recording of military prosecutors cross-examining the disturbingly emotionless drone.

Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand Channel: The Onion Length: 64 Date: May 05, 2011 FactZone obtains an audio recording of military prosecutors cross-examining the disturbingly emotionless drone.

Predator Drone Court-Martialed For Afghani Civilian Deaths Channel: The Onion Length: 76 Date: May 04, 2011 Military officials make an example of the TR425 Predator Drone which fired on an Afghan wedding last September.

Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She’ll Put Nation In Her Will Channel: The Onion Length: 145 Date: May 03, 2011 President Obama denies he’s spending hours at billionaire Adelia Scott's bedside as part of a scheme to lower the national debt, but many...

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