Page: 4 of 20 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Mean Automakers Dash Nation’s Hope For Flying Cars Channel: The Onion Length: 134 Date: March 10, 2011 Onion News Network anchor Brandon Armstrong argues passionately for the existence of flying cars.

Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane Channel: The Onion Length: 158 Date: March 10, 2011 271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security.

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less Channel: The Onion Length: 104 Date: March 10, 2011 Fast food giant Yum! Brands believes its new feedbags will make it even easier for Americans to constantly be eating.

Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport Channel: The Onion Length: 70 Date: March 10, 2011 Thanksgiving is a time for far-flung family members to reunite with each other and share in holiday cheer at the airport.

Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can Barely Remember Channel: The Onion Length: 73 Date: March 10, 2011 In this Onion News Network special feature, our soldiers stationed abroad remind us there’s still a war going on.

Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving Channel: The Onion Length: 136 Date: March 10, 2011 As Queen Elizabeth II becomes the oldest reigning monarch in British history, we take a look at some of her most significant waving moments.

Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 Channel: The Onion Length: 139 Date: March 10, 2011 Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.

Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future Channel: The Onion Length: 101 Date: March 10, 2011 An enigmatic man appeared in Hastings, NY, beckoning people to join his quest for a world free of despair as he shook hands and kissed newborns.

Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death Channel: The Onion Length: 115 Date: March 10, 2011 As the wreckage from today’s tragic crash continues to smolder, one can't help but think of the accident that took the life of the People...

Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past Channel: The Onion Length: 119 Date: March 10, 2011 The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies in the days before Netflix and iTunes.

Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers Channel: The Onion Length: 136 Date: March 10, 2011 A shocking new study finds U.S. children lag far behind their international peers in subjects like rifle assembly and mine defusing.

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare Channel: The Onion Length: 95 Date: March 10, 2011 A recent survey of children found that they are not in favor of increased doctor visits and vaccinations.

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor Channel: The Onion Length: 99 Date: March 10, 2011 In this special feature, troops overseas talk about things that make the season special, like modular tactical vests and M40 field protective masks.

Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat Channel: The Onion Length: 78 Date: March 10, 2011 After years of experiments and tens of millions of dollars, scientists have finally created a sheep that thinks and acts like a goat.

Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas Channel: The Onion Length: 109 Date: March 10, 2011 The nation’s poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.

Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere Channel: The Onion Length: 179 Date: March 10, 2011 Intrepid reporter Don Abrams surveys what might be damage from a massive landslide in the Philippines, although it’s hard to tell from his altitude.

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports Channel: The Onion Length: 123 Date: March 10, 2011 The United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African ...

Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day Channel: The Onion Length: 142 Date: March 10, 2011 The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently Channel: The Onion Length: 105 Date: March 10, 2011 Websites like Match.com allow sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks of the m...

New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte Channel: The Onion Length: 74 Date: March 10, 2011 The Department Of Transportation unveiled a new mandatory safety system designed to protect American drivers by keeping Nick Nolte off the road.

Page: 4 of 20 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8