Bev Hawkins from Suffolk may be the same age as Madonna - but that’s about all they have in common. While Madge can slink around in sexy clothes to show off her super-toned body, Bev suffers from an affliction which could only be called 'mutton dressed as lamb'. Spray-on jeans, mini-skirts and too-revealing tops haven't helped one bit. The tragic teeth and unfunny laughter lines that scream 'light me another fag' don't do any favours either. Most shocking of all, her straggly hair and hooked nose once led to her being called her husband's mother - and a witch - in the street. Ouch.