Dachshunds With Erections Can’t Climb Stairs Mrs. Ackroyd Band (Les Barker) 1992 Comedy Music Music is the property of Demento Society Each night she's on the balcony He loves her from afar His soft, sad eyes are hypnotised She shines down like a star. His heart will break forever His kind can't have affairs For Dachshunds with erections... Can't climb stairs. His home's a humble bungalow And her's a penthouse flat He cannot go where she can go And that, they say. is that. He never can be near her Although she knows he cares For Dachshunds with erections... Can't climb stairs. You want to win a woman? Just be cool... be aloof The dog who doesn't hit the stairs Can make it to the roof. The dog who doesn't care Will be the dog who wins the day You'll never get to heaven... With your chopper in the way. The spirit soars, the body falls And heavy lies the heart That cries out with the pain of love Be still my broken part. How painful is the passion And painful the repairs For Dachshunds with erections Can't climb stairs.