To worry about the LHC is a popular sport. I shall share my own worries, hopefully original, and do it via a parable (for this method, I can quote earlier authors). The parable concerns a topic in astrophysics (gamma-ray bursts) which happens to be a simple exercise --but quite an interesting one-- on elementary particle-physics and beam dynamics, topics not unrelated to the LHC. Though most of the talk will be dedicated to the physics and, in particular, to its recent developments, the allegory will allow me to detect what, I shall argue, may be dangerous 'viruses' invading science. I do not have the decisive antidotes, but I shall discuss some possible ones.